Woman vs. Wild

This picture doesn't do it justice

This is what I woke up to this morning.  Actually, I woke up at 3AM itching my legs like crazy and having no idea why. 

Now I do.

I have about 20 new bug bites on just my right leg.  I know, I know – I’ve already spent a previous blog entry complaining about how the mosquitoes were getting me.  But this is a whole new level of bug bite I’ve never seen or itched before, and it makes it all the more complicated that Panamanian mosquitoes are apparently invisible…because I’ve yet to catch one in the act. 

Lotion and just plain ol’ scratching do NOT work.  So, I turned to trusty google and researched some interesting home remedies that have strangely taken some effect. 

Step 1: take your thumbnail and, pressing as hard as possible to almost break the skin, carve a sort of “X” over the bug bite.

Step 2: dab a glob of spit over it

Step 3: cover it in toothpaste

Step 4: use all of your possible mind power not to touch the nasty things

Step 5: cover yourself in bug spray before leaving the house

Sounds ridiculous but it has actually seemed to work wonders so far.  The swelling (because these were seriously welts this morning) has gone down and I no longer feel the urge to itch my legs every five seconds.  The price: my legs smell like peppermint and look like some sort of treasure map of self-mutilation.  Not to mention the bug spray I bought was super cheap and leaves this kind of white powdery residue behind. Que prity.